happiness

everything

oy

"tell me who you love, and i'll tell you who you are."

* creole proverb

life

“life comes without guarantees, except that smiling will brighten your face, laughing will enhance your eyes, and falling in love will change your life.”

* unknown

...

i didn't miss you yesterday.

make love

broken heart

“only the young and stupid are confident about sex and romance. do you think any of us know what we’re doing? do you think there’s any way humans can love each other without complication? you should see how it happens in bali, darling. all these western men come here after they’ve made a mass of their lives back home, and they decide they’ve had it with western women, and they go marry some tiny, sweet, obedient little balinese teenage girl. i know what they’re thinking. they think this pretty little girl will make them happy, make their lives easy. but whenever i see it happen, i always want to say the same thing. good luck. because you still have a woman in front of you, my friend. and you are still a man. it’s still two human beings trying to get along, so it’s going to become complicated. and love is complicated. but still humans must try to love each other, darling. we must get our hearts broken sometimes. this is a good sign, having a broken heart. it means we have tried for something.”

* eat pray love

you

sad

...

good fricken question

anonymous ecards...

... are bullshit.

listen to john mayer:

have no fear for giving in
have no fear for giving over
you'd better know that in the end
it's better to say too much
then never say what you need to say again

even if your hands are shaking
and your faith is broken
even as the eyes are closing
do it with a heart wide open

say what you need to say...

enough said?

“the most important things are the hardest things to say. they are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than the living size then they’re brought out. but it’s more than that, isn’t it? the most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. and you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. that’s the worst, i think. when the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.”

* stephen king

be honest

every time

miss you

forever

...

you never know

“there will come a time when you believe everything is finished.
that will be the beginning.”

* peter nivio zarleng

goodbye

me too

harry: there are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
sally: which one am i?
harry: you're the worst kind. you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.

* when harry met sally

wishes

“i want to look at you and not feel so hurt by you.”

* the object of my affection

please...

one

“you have to pick one person and make it work.”

* the object of my affection

always

eventually

humanity

“if you stare at someone long enough,
you discover their humanity.”

* as good as it gets

one way street

loneliness

everything and everyone wants something and someone.

stupidity

“have you ever let a romantic moment
make you do something that you knew was stupid?”

* as good as it gets

dreaming

most of the time

perfect

“you're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense:
this girl you've met, she's not perfect either.
but the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other.”

* good will hunting

not about me

“why are you getting so upset?
this is not about you.”

* When Harry Met Sally

coffee and cigarettes

i gave up coffee and cigarettes
i hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet
i thought my problems would just dissipate
and all my pain would be in yesterday

i poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
and watched my bad habits get flushed away
i thought that that would keep my head on straight
and all my pain would be in yesterday

but it’s true
i’m still blue
but I finally know what to do
i must quit, i must quit, you

* Michelle Featherstone

breasts

when i was a kid, i longed for breasts. the Christmas of sixth grade, my mom got me two bras, one was padded, and the other had only a thin lining. i wore them both at the same time. i thought if i wore both, it would make my breasts look bigger. it was about that time i also started stuffing my bra(s) with tissue. i tried water balloons once but they looked too fake. i even went to the extent of wishing on shooting stars for boobs. and as i glance down at my chest that is now a DD cup… i suppose i wished that on one too many stars. it didn’t occur to me until after the fact that i should have been more specific in my wish – as in, “i wish for a C cup and a size six figure.”

perfection

Paint by Numbers
Robbie Gil

i thought i was the love of your life,
but that was only your life with me.
i don't know how i will get through these lonesome nights,
i only know that i'm not ready.
so what'll i do, now that i'm not drinking?
i already miss you.
so i guess this is what i'm thinking...

i'm gonna paint by numbers,
just put one foot in front of the other.
it's gonna hurt like hell, for so long.
i'll go ahead and pretend that i'm alright,
yeah i'll go out and i'll fight the good fight.
the one thing i know for sure is this: that life goes on.
even after you're gone.

i thought if i changed my ways you'd love me again.
now i can see that i was too late.
and only time will tell if we can just be friends.
the only thing i can do is wait.
but i'm not ready for that 'cause i still love you.
and i know for a fact that you're gone but i don't want to.

so i'm gonna paint by numbers,
just put one foot in front of the other.
its gonna hurt like hell, for so long.
i'll go ahead and pretend that i'm alright,
yeah i'll go out and i'll fight the good fight.
the one thing i know for sure is this: that life goes on.
even after you're gone.

yeah, this will be the first time in 10 years, you're not the first to hear my new song.
and i'm a singing this while i hold back the tears, but you should know that i will be strong.
and maybe this is the life i'm supposed to live.
and you cannot take away from me what i'm willing to give.

so i'm gonna paint by numbers,
just put one foot in front of the other.
its gonna hurt like hell, for so long.
i'll go ahead and pretend that i'm alright,
yeah i'll go out and i'll fight the good fight.
the one thing i know for sure is this: that life goes on.
even after you're gone.
life goes on yeah.

life goes on
life goes on
life goes on
after you're gone.
after you're gone.

learning

(click it)

someone else

i wish this was for me.

b

signing

(i can't let go)

trying to let go

i wish it could be different.

i love you.

changes

bumper sticker:

"if nothing changes

nothing changes."

is?

my heart

(old poem)

i took off my necklace before i drove to your house to fuck you. the purple crystal cross on the silver chain would have hit you in the forehead as i straddled and rode you. you needed to find God but probably not by a mark on your forehead. i needed to find Him again too. more than ever. wearing a necklace wasn’t enough. He didn’t have my heart anymore. but neither did you.

love wins

true

feel

regrets

each and every one

choices

"There is no choice you've ever made,

nor any you will make,

that will limit you

as much as you may fear.

Nor even limit you at all."

* Notes from the Universe

risk

food for thought

impact

i've been so afraid to let go because i'm afraid i would be forgotten, that i didn't make an impact, that he just didn't get it enough. because if he did, wouldn't he do everything he could to make me stay?

leaving

i need to get a duffel bag. packing a duffel bag when you're angry or upset is much more of a dramatic exit.

i survived too

thinking

forgiven

(old poem)

the bench was never warmed by me. i never brought you flowers. it’s out of the way. i drive by sometimes. but i don’t stop. you have not been forgiven.

happy birthday, daddy

miss you.

lost

wishing

request

from a friend's blog:

I am formally requesting that I am returned, in full, the following:

1. my heart, which I gave to you, in whole

Thank you.

P.S. If there is any way that I could also get back my trust, my rational thinking, and my appetite that would be greatly appreciated as well.

desire

you smiled softly. and touched my face. you were sweet. gazing into my eyes. i did want you. just not as much as you wanted me.

gifts

"Gifts allow us to demonstrate how little we know about a person. And nothing pisses off a person more than being shoved in the wrong pigeon hole."

* House

unintentionally amusing

i got one of my favorite shirts in new york while seeing 'wicked' on broadway.

across my DD breasts, it says "defy gravity".

seriously.

inside & out

life

"this wasn't the life i signed up for."

the warning was duly noted.

three months

without a drink.

new home

in time

"One thing I know for sure

is that with time,

everything becomes clear,

all questions are answered,

what's broken is restored,
new trails are blazed,
hearts are mended,
love returns,

and you will look over your shoulder,

with a tear in your eye,
at life's utter perfection.

And best of all,

time is one thing you have plenty of.
Trust me."

* Notes from the Universe

first cupcake day

finally.